So Satan has really been working overtime on me here lately. I hate him so much. I know that HighPointe Church is where we are called to be, but Satan insists on using my past failures and insecurities to tell me that I should run away, that I am worthless, and no one wants me at HPC. It has been such a battle, and I am still fighting, but I refuse to allow him to ruin my life. God created me for a purpose, and my deepest desire is to fulfill that purpose in him! :-) God showed me something yesterday morning in my quiet time, it was amazing. I was telling him about all of my fear and anxiety when he showed me something so cool. It was me, sitting in a jail cell, just sitting there crying. The door to my cell had been ripped off, so there was nothing keeping me in. God began to call to me from outside the door and extended his hand. He showed me that yes, sitting in the chains was "safer" but he did not die so I could remain in bondage. He freed me from slavery to sin, which is why the door had been taken down. Now, because of my fear of the real world, and what lies beyond that jail cell I have been content to just stay in the chains. I am used to them, its all I have ever known. But God showed me that I cannot do his work in that cell, I cannot be everything he called me to be. He showed me that when I take his hand and walk out of that jail, he is never letting me go. I may fall, yes, but he will be right there to dust my knees off, pick me back up, and get me going again. Sometimes the road we walk will be so dark and unstable and that I will be able to do is cling to his hand like a little child and trust that if I fall he will catch me. So, I decided that I am willing to do it. I am ready to step out of that jail cell and into the arms of the one who made me! what an awesome and amazing God we serve. He is my everything and I cannot wait to meet him face to face!
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