Pics...

me and my baby Sumo!!!

Valenines Day!!!!

Hope Now...

So basically, its been a month since I lost my little baby. I cant believe it. God has been so faithful to me. School is going fairly well, its getting a little bit more intense, but I am enjoying it. I spend alot of time alone at school. I really enjoy that time though, God loves on me alot through it and it gives me a chance to really be still and know that he is God. Not something that I can do at the daycare. lol. The daycare is going good. We have been singing alot of little church songs, (Father Abraham, Jesus loves me, I'm in the LORD's Army) and just such as that. It has really ignited something within our three and four year olds. I explained what The Bible is and who Jesus is. They are always asking questions and I am so thrilled for that. I joined the AACC yesterday and I am so excited. We are going to the world convention in September to Nashville and I cannot wait. Valetines was fun this year. we went out to eat at El palcio and then we came back and kept Tracie and Eddie's kids so that they could go out. It was a good day.

I have been a little lonely this week. Sometimes I think about how far along I would be if I had not lost the baby. I don't dwell on it, but sometimes I do think of it. I think about heaven and how my baby is there with Jesus. I know God is sovereign and I completely respect his decision, but it really does hurt..."Not a day goes by that I don't think of you..."

My offering...

Things have def. gotten easier in regards to the miscarriage. I knew that it would, it just took some time. School has picked up now and I stay really busy. I enjoy it though. I started attending a girls Bible study on Thursdays during chapel hour and I think it is going to be good. We are studying the book of Esther. When I began school at BCF, I knew that God was calling me to counseling, but I had no idea how he was going to use me. I have just been taking it slow, praying about it, and trying to be Christ led on my descision. In the last few months, God has used several different people and circumstances to open my eyes and my heart about counseling teens with cutting and eating disorders, primarily cutting. Like I said, I despretly want to be God led, but I really think this could be what he is calling me to. There is such a need for this kind of counseling, there is such a lack of information out there. I could see myself counseling with these kids, and then treaveling around and giving seminars and training churches on how to manage this epidemic in thier churches, schools, and community. I would also like to travel around, sharing my testimony and becoming a motivational speaker. We will see what happens!

Jeremy and I are still trying to make a descision about church. It is so difficult. We love both churches, but unfortanatly, we disagree with both. It is really Jeremy's descision, so I have just been talking with him and praying through it with him, and praying for him. Right now, we are members at Hillcrest(Southern Baptist) so that is where we have been attending while we decide. We went bowling with the Reds from Straight Paths church( the independent Baptist Church) and we had a wonderful time. I just love those people so much. Jeremy talked with Mr. Red a very long time when we got back from the bowling ailey, but I dont know about what really. Maybe it was a good time for them.

Well, I will have my car paid for this month, which is so exciting! We are looking forward to getting our debt paid off so that we can live Biblically. I am so thankful that we had a good start. :) Well, thats all I have for today! God Bless!

Slipped Away by Avril Lavigne

This is my song to the baby. It pretty much goes through every thought I have had about him or her.


I miss you
Miss you so bad
I don't forget you
Oh it's so sad.
I hope you can hear me
I remember it clearly.

[Chorus]
The day you slipped away.....
Was the day i found
It, won't be the same
OhNa na
Na na na
na na
I didn't get around to kiss you
Goodbye on the hand
I wish that I could see you again
I know that I can't
ooooooooooooh
I hope you can hear me
Cause I remember it clearly

[Chorus]
The day you slipped away...
Was the day i found
It, won't be the same
OhI've had my wake up
Won't you wake up
I keep asking why.
And I can't take it
It wasn't fake it
It happened you passed by
Now you're gone
Now you're gone
There you go
There you go
Somewhere I can't bring you back
Now you're gone
Now you're gone
There you go
There you go
Somewhere you're not coming back

I miss you.